Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Starting Fresh

Got myself a new blog because I need a fresh start to the year that I've left far behind me, where all my posts were all about "us". It's no longer going to be that way anymore because we have broken up and I guess I just needed a clean slate where I didn't have to look back anymore.

I had quite a few questions on my ask.FM with concerns to why we broke up, and I'm choosing to answer them here because it's a lot easier to read from. In contrary to his side of the story, where I'm the bad guy because I "dumped" him, I think a broken relationship is caused by both parties, not just one.

A relationship is built on a mutual understanding and trust of each other, that both parties can help each other to become better people. I tried my best to and I failed so many times, so I eventually chose to gave up because I couldn't accept who he was, and still is. He couldn't accept the way I was either. We had a lot of clashing personal attributes that destroyed us eventually because of how both of us grew up. I was nobody, and never had intentions of becoming somebody because I always felt awkward in the spotlight. Yet he grew up being the center of attention. I like stability and I ravish in it, yet he likes to try so many new things and I'm just afraid all the time so I try to restrict him. I know it's wrong but I just wanted a guy who would put both of his feet on the ground for me. 

I forced him to change so many times because of me and I know I was being irritatingly demanding and it just won't work out the way I wanted to, so I broke up. I'm afraid of committing to someone I lost my respect and love for, so I told him that if we got back together after our break up, I'd probably just end up cheating on him in the future because of how unhappy I was going to be. 

Also, we were losing our youth for each other with all the unhappy arguments and fights that we had that just blatantly showed both of us that we weren't meant for each other

So guys, date longer before you decide to dive headstrong into a relationship because that's what we did. And that's what I regretted. Took me long enough to realize what I've gotten into.

This is going to be the last thing that I ever post about him because we've both agreed that we've got to let each other out of our lives for good.

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One of my favourite originals by Hannah Trigwell:

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