Closure

Haven't posted anything here in a long while because I've been so so so busy but it's holidays now and I have a little more spare time on my hands before starting on my report for FYP. So, how's life?

These past few weeks and months have been a blur, I've quit my waitressing job @ Sushi Tei of 2 years, switched lines to being a clinical assistant and a door girl/bitch as well. I don't think I'm doing a particularly good job at being a bitch though, or maybe that's just my own opinion. I'm too huddled up in still thinking that having good service is very important in whatever line I'm in but I guess in the nightlife it isn't as much.

It's December 16th now, just a mere 15 days to the Eve of the New Year. The day when 2013 ends. When everything that has happened for the past year will pass by like it was nothing; like how the past 19 years of my life has passed. When the clock strikes 12, everyone will hug and exchange kisses for the upcoming year. When fireworks will grace the sky in the central district and everyone will crowd for the lights as it has been; like a ritual every year.

As the year is ending, I've been looking back on the past year and the experiences I've gone through; probably to where I am right now and no matter what I've went through; no matter how many bad decisions I've made, I'm glad I made them. Without these mistakes, I would never have grown. I would never have known what I really wanted and needed.

Through the year;

1. I've loved.
2. I've hurt.
3. I've tried to recover by loving again, but I failed miserably.
4. I've partied hard.
5. Too hard.
6. I've done way too much for that one guy that I liked.
7. I've been hurt again, for uncertainties.
8. I've partied again.
9. I've got to meet good friends and I went too far with a dare.
10. I've hurt again.
11. I've partied.
12. I've kept my options open.
13. I've been wary of everyone because I've been hurt so many times.
14. I've waited.
15. I've fallen in love.

I'm still in love.

I'm glad to have met you, though the circumstances were never the most apt. We all know what they say about club romances, but I was so happy yet wary when you took the first step and asked me on a date the second time we met each other. And it went well, too well perhaps. That feeling when you don't want the date to end because you have way too many things to talk about to each other, and having so many things that you want to find out about each other. I'm just glad we can be so brutally honest about everything, for your trust in me (with the whole NS thing going on) and the littlest things that you take note of to make me happy all the time. Happy first month, to us. And to the many more months and years to come.

--

To a significant someone else, I'm sorry. Sorry for breaking your heart when I shouldn't have, just like you did with mine. Sorry for making you step onto my rack, sorry for making you try for me when I was so sure you wouldn't anymore. Sorry for that dare. Sorry that I crushed on you and tried even though I anticipated rejection; and now I've hurt you instead. Sorry that I was so irrational and acted merely on my emotions. Sorry that I didn't wait for you to come around. I can only hope that we can still be friends; no matter the distance.

This year has been a good one. I've met so many people, made so many more friends, exposed myself and let myself be exposed to so many other things. I've also been able to continue to keep my close friends close. I can't wait for the upcoming year and the surprises that await me :-)